TLDR:
Being Mom and doctoral student last week was a success! Refined my search terms for my systematic review. Worked on the HERTZ. Got my schoolwork done. Did well on my exam.
The Full Story:
If I thought last week was busy… well, I knew this week would be worse.
Accomplishments
Being step bonus mom while doing my Ph.D. last week was successful! I think the kids would have preferred to play with me more, but it’s good for them to see my work ethics too. My advisor and group members for projects were all very supportive of my need to be with the kids, and since I also accomplished my tasks at hand, and even went the extra mile, no one was complaining. Of course, going the extra mile isn’t always feasible, but I always get my work done and I always make time for my family. This last week was a busy one, and being able to juggle family and school life, a first for me, showed to me that we can do it and there is no reason why not.
Research / School-related accomplishments
- Refined my list of search terms for systematic review.
- Got my four recommenders for the HERTZ
- Note to self: ask for recommendations WA-AY sooner!
- Getting better at the academic paper reading, finding, reviewing, analyzing.
I almost quit my application for the HERTZ when I realized last week I hadn’t asked for letters of recommendation and they are due this week. Rogelio my advisor encouraged another member of our lab to got for a grant. She decided to drop it, but I knew he’d say the same things to me (to go for it!), so I took that as encouragement, swallowed my pride, and prepared to need to profusely apologize to the people I was asking so late, which I did. It was a lesson that I need to be more on top of next time. It could have very negatively impacted my relationship with these people. Thankfully they were willing to forgive and were very supportive.
What’s next
Got to do these things:
- HERTZ due this week
- Schoolwork, projects, and exams
- Begin testing systematic keywords in various databases.
- Meet with a librarian to see if I’m missing anything
- AISL grant proposal due Nov 6th!
- Meet Julian Togelius at his talk this Friday! (I’m super excited!)
Roadblocks
Just buys and tired. Not sure if a certain large homework assignment is going to be completed because everything else is more pressing, more important, and I do not like the class… should still be able to pull off a B though… ??
Being a Mom while Completing a Ph.D.
I got a taste of what it will be like to have kids while doing a Ph.D. and I believe it is completely doable. There is no reason why you can’t pursue a degree and be a mom. You just have to remember your priorities: faith and family first, then career. Of course, you still need to meet your work responsibilities, but family ones are just as important, so I made sure to schedule in playtime this past week with the kids while we had them despite a heavy workload. So glad I did!
Between my husband’s work schedule and my school/work schedule, we were able to watch the kids without calling in for reinforcements. It helps that we have a live-in uncle, but he was sick so mostly I had the kids check on him, not the other way around. Ha ha.
Since we had the kids we did some pumpkin carving (forgot to take photos since the hubby did that), and lots of Halloween crafts and decorating. We spent most of last weekend doing the big adventures since last week I knew I’d be in school. Glad we did it. I didn’t get to play with the kids as much as would have liked, but while I worked on homework and research my daughter was on the bed next to me playing games.
Looking Back, Missing My Mom
This past Friday, October 18, 2019, marked the two-year anniversary of my mother’s death. She died during my last year of my Master’s. So we bought some fall flowers and went to her grave. She always supported me in my education and work. It’s hard to not have her as my cheerleader anymore. I think she would be proud.
When we were at the cemetery we decided to also see my little brother Ben (who died as a baby and is buried in the same cemetery as my mother). On the way over we saw a very decorated grave, all out! It looked beautiful. It was for a baby who died recently. That day was the baby’s birthday. Birthdays and Death Anniversaries are important days. It was bittersweet. It’s good to remember and celebrate lives, and take time to live your own.
Nancy Games 